Tag: Christian

Painted Pax on day 92 of 172 of giving up sweets

My newest wine bag, “Pax”, was painted from a picture I took of a very large painting on the wall of a local coffee shop. Fitting for a wine bag, did you know the first miracle recorded in scripture is Jesus turning water into wine at at wedding.

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I must say a little about my diet: About a week ago I gave up bread and pasta in addition to the sweets. I plan to do that until I take off the pounds I need to lose. The sweets challenge I will continue until April 21. Then it will be interesting to see if my addiction to sweets is no more…I hope!

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And an update on my husband’s dementia and visiting him at his assisted living… it’s very difficult to visit him though I do. It’s agony to see someone who was once an intellectual and a vibrant person in the condition he now is. While I know in my mind that it is the disease course, that provides my heart no relief from the pain it causes. But I realize that feeling pain is part of being human, so I feel it. Not numbing myself by overeating opens up the ability to feel… and give it to God. That brings me peace.

On Being Capable on Day 80 of 172 of giving up sweets

On this day 80 of the giving up sweets challenge, I am feeling capable… but with a hint of worry. I am now feeling the need to think and plan my exit strategy I scheduled for April 21 so as to not ultimately fail in this challenge. And, at this almost halfway point, I think it important to reveal that it is well worth the investment of time and effort. It is paying off in:

Weight loss,

Clearer thinking,

Increased prayer and bible study, (because His Word is sweeter),

The knowledge that I am capable.

Giving up sweets successfully not only makes me capable… of giving up sweets, it makes me capable of doing anything I ought to do. Quite simply, I didn’t think I was capable of parting with the sweet fix.

It’s pretty funny to see the reactions of people when they learn I gave up sweets.: shock that anyone could do this, guilt because they know they should, and then, “I’d never be able to do that.”

I got to thinking, what is it that makes us feel equipped to do anything? Past experience? Knowing that we can learn something new? Strokes from others? I think the most important way to feel capable is to show that you can do it. That’s why when I first started this challenge I was amazed each day at my ability to just say no to sweets.

Surely, first day back, I won’t eat a whole chocolate cake.

“Scheduling in Art” On day 67 of 172 days of giving up sweets

I’ve ruined art pieces. Good thing I took a picture of this one before I painted over it.

Art can take over my life. In the past I’ve given precious time and energy to whatever whimsical idea would come my way. I was what you might say, “out on a whim”. But, my desire is to master my art, reign in my talents, and focus on finishing.

Scheduling an appointment with myself for my art, like I would do any other important endeavor, is one of my plans for this new year.

To complete the writing process of my book as well as finish some specific paintings, I have chosen to block in time on my calendar and establish deadlines to accomplish these otherwise open ended tasks. Treating them as an appointment puts me in charge instead of the whimsical way I have approached my art.

I will blog about the results… which hopefully will be GOOD!

It will most likely be: writing after breakfast and painting after lunch.

Artists

Compelled, inspired,

So enraptured, we create!

We write, we carve, we build, we paint.

~Julie Robinson

But, the most important time of day comes first before I do anything else. Prayer, bible study, and scripture memorization. Most days I have a scripture in my pocket I’m working on memorizing. At odd times during the day I will pull it out and work on it and sometimes, forgetting to check my pockets, I send them through the wash.

I Must Make Art! on day 66 of 172 of giving up sweets

My pendant “I MUST MAKE ART” was photographed in front of one of my many water over rocks scenes, a painting hanging in my bedroom. I have many more like it stacked in my closet at various levels of completion. Some are signed but I don’t feel they are completed.

The deep desire to paint has come after days of pouring myself into writing. Writing is one thing… getting it to where someone will be able to relate to it is something else. Writers always say it is hard work and it is so true. When I write I feel like I’ve given my all.

For this week, I plan to block in painting and writing time on my calendar so that I will do both each day. I wonder if it will work that way…

By the way, both writing and painting make time zip by so fast. I might say that I’m painting and writing my life away! A timer is my friend to remind me to take a break.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that my daughter is homeschooling her high school years and “we” are in her Junior year now. So, my job is to keep her on task and to feed us healthy meals. I try to keep a step ahead of her desire to go get fast food. So, I will cook us slow meals here that are both healthier more delicious. Yesterday I cooked good old fashioned beans and cornbread to which I added the leftover ham from our New Year’s dinner. And, since I gave up sweets, my palate has changed. I’ve been wanting more vegetables. Recently as a side dish I cooked up some mustard greens. Surprisingly, I was kind of craving it. I don’t think I have ever craved greens in my life.

A healthier diet means a healthier appetite. But, not right away. Join me and find out. I would love to have others come along!

Gingerbread Results on day 64 of 172 of giving up sweets

Of course you can see we are not professionals But we make gingerbread houses every year. There should be a gingerbread house school. I’d attend.

My daughter did a very neat house with a first time try in candy baked into a tree. The tree below left was made with a Christmas tree cutter with a triangle cutout and peppermint candy inserted inside and melted while baking the dough.

My house sports a thatch roof using shredded wheat cereal was frosting glued on for a most cozy gingerbread log home/ island retreat.

Mostly we just had fun. I served sloppy joes and bottled water to help keep the kids from getting too sugared up. Normally I’d wish I could sample a little candy but this year on day 64… don’t even want it!!!

Writing my book on day 63 of 172 of giving up sweets

New Years is bringing about my desire to:

FINISH MY CAREGIVING BOOK

I’ve got to get my caregiving book finished. I have been working on it off and on for the past couple of years. How many times I’ve rewritten its chapters. And, now that my husband has needed to go to assisted living, I am needing to give myself some writing and editing deadlines.

So, currently I am adding, subtracting, and editing my caregiving book. I’m finally able to see what it actually is. This writing process has been throwing a bunch of clay on a table and molding it and then carving it out, totally demolishing some parts and then building it back up.

While editing, I notice I tend to say “just” a lot. Just just just. Like this:

“I just wanted a break.” So I was thinking about that. What do I mean by “just”? Maybe what I really mean is “only”. I only wanted a break. But, do I say “just” because it has a little whiny capability to it? a little more oomph to it?

Maybe I also say “little” a lot. So I could say:

“I just wanted a little break.”

But the TRUTH is: I wanted a break. No just or little. I wanted a very long break.

I wanted it to be over.

As many of you know who are slogging through caregiving days, if you ever do get some respite, it is very difficult to relax if you “just” get a few hours.

Sometimes writing can get me to truth. Telling the truth in my writing means I have to revisit old information and ways of thinking and ask hard questions. Am I saying what I think people want to hear? Am I revealing nothing but saying something? That’s what makes writing soooooo difficult but also so cleansing.

And, then there’s my overused “so”.

Hosting a gingerbread house party today and gluing together some gingerbread houses ahead of time gives me great respect for people who make great gingerbread mansions. A few of the houses I purchased from an after Christmas sale. The others I made the old fashioned way, rolling out gingerbread and cutting them out…

Pretty sure you can figure out which one is the store bought. Mine I’m calling a “fixer upper”.

I ran to get some soup cans to help prop the walls together when I was gluing it together last night. They were all nicely together and then I heard them plop, plop, plop… as I was in the pantry. Next time (if there is) I get the soup cans out before gluing. The base I made the night before to dry thoroughly.

This morning was roof day. I saw a cool tutorial about gluing together the roof and letting it dry first before putting it on. It seemed dry but when I put the roof on it went sliding down. Anyhow, all the houses are together now.

It’ll be fun having our friends come over and gluing the decorations on. After they are all completed those fixer uppers will be fixed. I’m sure I will choose to do this one because it will be a challenge.

Do you wonder how I can make gingerbread houses without eating any? I have no desire for sweets! What!!!??? If you’ve been reading my blog since day one of giving up sweets you will know I was eating cookies by the bag and I couldn’t open candy quick enough to eat it.

Giving up sweets has been instrumental to me in not desiring them.

If you want to do it and If you think you can’t do it, think again. Give it a go. I’m on day 62!

30 minute clean out on day 60 of 172 of no sweets

30 minutes was all it took to a better baking cabinet. There were about three problems I was having with it: I couldn’t fit the raisins on the middle shelf standing up so they were on their side with the lid on the end so I was having to stretch and reach that shelf so I’d barely get ahold of the lid and down they’d fall spilling out which really began bugging me. Then there was the lazy susan spice rack that wouldn’t turn, and finally, the bottom of the shelves needed cleaning.

These simple goals in mind, to make the contents better accessible and to make cooking and baking more pleasant, this small clean out was a quick success.

At the end I reorganized the contents so that the most used items are now on the lower shelf. That lazy susan spins nicely now which was my major goal and the raisins are in front of the oatmeal On the lower more reachable shelf. (Oatmeal lover that I am)

Happy New Year’s Eve, a great day for a clean out. I will be looking for other fun and rewardingly quick clean outs as I plow ahead into this new year.

Organizing on day 59 of 172 of giving up sweets

I must admit that I am a cleaner outer. I’m always cleaning something out.

It’s really because at my heart I’m a messy person. Unfortunately.

Recently I cleaned out drawers in my kitchen and next I plan to clean out my baking ingredients cupboard because the lazy Susan I keep my spices in is not spinning around right. Like most messy areas of my home I find that there end up being things that are “misfiled”. Everything is a filing system, be it clothes, dishes, garage items, or baking spices. Not everything has to be perfectly orderly but small areas like my baking cabinet can get out of control and so need to be rethought. I like making things work smoothly and efficiently.

Like my mom always said, “A place for everything and everything in its place.”

The new year makes me conscious of the need to make my life more orderly. What things used to work smoothly but are needing rethinking? What needs to be made right? What things do I wish I would just go ahead and bravely do?

I feel that in my past I always had weight loss or eat better on the top of my list. Well, since I’m already doing those things on my 172 day plan, that leaves me room to move some other plans and goals up to the top of my list.

Recently I heard someone give advice not to share your goals because if you do you will have expended some important emotional energy on the sharing of the goals and that it will pull that surge of energy push needed to get you going on the goal. I don’t know if that’s right or not.

So, just in case, I will not share my goals; but what I will share is my accomplishments as I simplify and minimize all I can. And, furthermore, I plan to take inventory of my talents and abilities to see if I am best applying the gifts I have.

So in this new year I will share

• Simplifying my life,
• my sweets challenge,
• my paintings in progress,
• poetry and other writings,
• experiences homeschooling my daughter as we begin the process of getting her ready to take the SAT.
• And, of course information pertaining to visiting my husband in assisted living and the application for veteran’s benefits.

Morning Star Meeting on day 58 of 172 of giving up sweets

I’m enjoying bringing my “painting people” here to life. The process has involved many layers of paint. Since I brought these folks together from a few different photos I’ve had to figure out how they’d be sitting on this couch together. I have some problems to sort out like the woman on the far left needs to scoot back and sit farther in… or I need to make her appear to be perched a little better on the cushion’s edge. Expressions are coming along as I dabble paint here and there – what a way to do it, huh? I just keep putting more shadow, color, rosey up this and put a wrinkle there until I start seeing the person.

My husband is beginning to look like himself – but it’s like one of those creepy pictures that looks like the person is staring at you.

I have the painting propped so I can see it during the day as I always do when I’m working on a painting so that I can figure out what it needs. I had painted more detail in the background but then decided it needed toning down. There was a Christmas wreath and some branches that could be seen through the windows from the beautiful backyard trees that are actually there but they were interfering with the main idea of the painting. So after I painted them in, I painted them out. It is a work in progress. I am using acrylic paints so you can block out easily and paint over.

I keep my paint palette tightly sealed so that it won’t dry out so I can just work on a painting any time and it doesn’t take a whole lot of setup.

Preparing to Paint on day 57 of 172 of giving up sweets

My beginning painting process doesn’t always include doing a sketch ahead of time. But since I am portraying people and placement and expressions I decided I’d best try it out. After the initial sketch, I decided a little different placement was needed to allow the woman on the far left a little more room since she is animatedly clasping her hands together. Her portrait was initially what I planned to paint because she seemed enraptured by the pianist serenading her with Patsy Cline’s “Crazy” at the Morning Star Memory Care Christmas party.

Considering the painting’s composition, the anchor on the left will be the serenaded woman. It is important in the painting placement because the woman on the far right is wearing a bright red jacket making that end heavy. In the middle I am wanting to capture the expressions in the sitting styles of those two people and when I begin layering paint I can give all of them life. I always learn something when I paint because I am forced to study a subject. Something as simple as sitting style became an interesting study. I’m no body language expert but I believe people communicate who they are without talking. Two of these people have lost their ability to talk, and even though they are all in various levels of dementia, they are all still bodily communicating. They are probably sitting the way they always have which I am guessing because I captured my husband sitting the way he always has.

I’m looking forward to painting this one.

Sketching on day 56 of 172 of no sweets

As a painter, I don’t do people generally. So, this will be a challenge. I so want to get the expressions right. Third from the left is my husband and problem is right now it doesn’t look at all like him which is kind of strange because the others have more of a resemblance to the actual people than my husband. You’d think I could paint him. I’ll be working on it. I think I will do it in oils on canvas. I can’t wait to dive into my oil paints.

As I worked on the preliminary sketches I was thinking of those special people there. Like my husband, they once lived a full life on the outside but now are being protected and every need cared for. I pieced them together as if they were sitting together on the couch.

Maybe I’ll paint and post my progress.

A Gift on this Merry Christmas!

The star above the manger cradle was studied scientifically and followed faithfully by wise men to witness the greatest Star of all.

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Fittingly, the story starts with fruit on a tree… and sliced “the opposite way” will find a star at its core.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!

Christmas on day 52 of 172 of Giving up sweets

Though the melody sings for all to hear “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, Christmas time can be the loneliest.

Recently we were eating at Cracker Barrel, a homey chain restaurant with an enormous wood fireplace serving southern home cooking and a large gift shop selling nostalgic toys and gift items. As we were, my daughter and I, sitting and chatting, I notice a man eating by himself and am reminded of the loneliness many people face. No wonder a person would pick a homey place like Cracker Barrel to have a lone meal.

But then I notice another table with an elderly couple who seem to be having a sad conversation and she has her hands in his. And, yet another family has four little children all zapped into their electronics. Then there are a couple of good-looking cowboys with their hats on talking on their cellular phones.

And I am glad that my daughter and I instituted a no cell phones dining practice.

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What I look forward to the most on Christmas is spending it with our family and friends who we love all year long. We will attend a candlelight Christmas Eve service at our church to sing Christmas carols and remember the Spirit of Christmas. And then on Christmas Day we will celebrate with gifts and a Happy Birthday to Jesus cake, a tradition my mother started.

And then we will take my husband a slice of that cake to where he now resides at Morning Star Memory Care since he hasn’t forgotten he likes cake. And there we will light the candle on top and sing with him Happy Birthday to Jesus as we do every year.

And I plan to partake in a small sliver.

Merry Christmas!

May all the wishings of Merry Christmas ring the good news of Christ “who came to seek and to save those who are lost”. Luke 19:10

Electronic Fire and Morning Star on Day 51 of giving up sweets

Keeping the home fires burning is always on my mind. And if I don’t stoke the fire, who’s going to? (Admitting here I don’t have a fireplace). So what is better than pulling out a technology fire that also plays Michael Bublè Christmas. On YouTube there are lots of fireplace scenes to choose from to crackle and “warm up” a space. I also like to set it up on my smart TV.

So by my “fire” I baked cookies (and Not eating them) for the Morning Star Memory Care Christmas party. My Husband was quite unwell and wanted to be tucked into his bed so we left early. A memorable moment was the pianist singing Patsy Cline “Crazy” to this sweet resident who deeply enjoyed the serenade. Music reaches people.

Day 50 of 172 of giving up sweets

Day 50 is nearly a third of the way through my giving up sweets challenge and I am glad I have done it. What a gift I give myself each day as I pass by whatever treat of the moment might sparkle a little extra this holiday season. But, it doesn’t sparkle anything near the joy of not partaking in it.

And, if I weren’t in the throes of the 172 day challenge I’d probably be eating chocolate cake right now as I feel sorry for myself with back pain that has got me. I went to the chiropractor yesterday and he did an adjustment. It’s better, but I’m still having spasms in my middle back. And, he’s away now for a Christmas break. The first available appointment just in case I need it is January 8. So I booked it. I felt bad for doing that because I wanted to just go on faith that this spasm would leave me way long before then and no follow up needed. But the receptionist convinced me otherwise.

There was no fall or injury I can think of. But I did carry a heavy bed frame down the stairs. I don’t remember injuring it then. However, I was at my wits end trying to take that metal bed apart. The screws were stripping and they were round so no wrench could pry those screws loose enough to twist them out. I was on the floor contorted (aha! That’s when it happened!) trying to hacksaw across the screw heads to allow me to us a flathead screwdriver. A friend’s husband suggested that. I couldn’t get all the screws out but I was able to disassemble it enough to carry it, with help from my daughter, downstairs.

It was me vs those stripped screws that now has me in agony. And, I want to blame it on those cheap soft aluminum screws. They left nice piles of shavings on the floor.

So, wind knocked out of me, sitting against my heating pad I pop some Alleve and listen to Josh Groban work up majesty and excitement in Christmas carols. “O Come Let Us Adore Him!” And for a moment the pain leaves.