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For awhile I was churning out little clay animals, mostly owls, but I decided to make a turtle here and I snapped it’s picture as he looked like he was trying to climb out.

Feeling Stuck

I got a bead stuck up my nose… in all honesty, I stuck a bead up my nose when I was about eight years old and had to go to the doctor to get it out.  When you get anything stuck anywhere there is a franticness that sets in.  The bead gets dug even deeper, the kid with the elbow between the chair slats wedges even tighter (one of my kids).

When my grandson came to visit a few years ago he got his finger stuck in my pantry door.  Anything stuck makes me feel so frantic on the inside and his wailing really made made it worse.  I highlight those stuck moments in my mind along with other painful moments like falling off my skateboard.  I thought I could go faster if I ran and jumped on it.  I went up in the air and landed on the concrete where I felt like I kept landing… it was a strange sensation… and I remember laying there looking up at the sky and plumeria trees (we lived in Hawaii) and boy do I remember having to go to school the next day and sit.

What do you do in ongoing life stucky-ness?   Being a 24/7 caregiver for a person with any illness with no end is stuck time that drags on.

We are stuck in my husband’s dementia.

Usually I deal with it better.

Today I am not feeling well.

I feel like I’m coming down with a cold which is making me feel aggravated with his telling and repeating all his weird delusional tales he makes up.

Stuck in dementia… trying to at least emotionally climb out like the painted turtle above.

 

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The little blue clay owl I made is thinking about whether he ought to jump into the hole I drew.  I used to make these little clay owls and for awhile I was interested in anamorphic art.  So, I drew this little hole just to try it out.  Faked that owl right out didn’t I?

Caregiving Vignettes “On our Toes”

Like the little owl, I sometimes am on edge.  Maybe because I have to “stay on my toes”, alert, at the ready.  That’s why it is good we can get some time off, the thing that in caregiving lingo they call “respite”.

Respite Care for him

We get respite care at our neighborhood adult day care center three times a week. Most of the attendees there are in their 80’s and 90’s.  But, then there’s my husband who is just 70 years old.  They play games, make seasonal crafts, sing songs (which is his favorite), and listen to music.  He begins getting excited about going there but not necessarily in a nice way.  It’s more in a keyed up way.  And, when he’s there he’s keyed up about when I’m picking him up.  So, He’s keyed up all the way there and then worn out and frustrated from having been there on the way home.  But, it is respite for us.  It means my daughter and I can get lunch out.

The Spa … for me?

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have him go to respite care and for me to go to the spa with massage hot tub and facial.  I really ought to book myself such an adventure.

But, what I normally do is run around and do the errands I can’t do when I have him with me (and did I mention I cannot leave him home alone and neither can I leave him with our daughter). I enjoy grocery shopping by myself.  I will spend an hour in the grocery store.  It takes that long to be a smart shopper.  But, possibly I just like it there.  They play the best music and there are all those possibilities of me being a budding gourmet chef right in my own kitchen.

Then I come home and paint or right now fiddle with the Patreon account I am creating where I will upload videos of my creative process involved in my paintings.  I like being at home with him gone.  It seems so peaceful.  Sometimes I almost forget to pick him up.

I count my blessings about the respite center and I tell that little shiny blue owl to step away from the edge.  That hole might be deep.

My dad and his Starbucks cup underway.

Just joking around I saw my dad recently with his customary Starbucks cup and I kidded that if someone were to make a statue of him they’d have to put a Starbucks cup in his hand and do he said I should make him one. Since his birthday’s on Wednesday I thought I’d hurry up and try. Mind you I have never attempted a person nor anything this large. But here it is thus far… I am not sure if I should paint it when done.

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Art with Joel. This is the picture he chose

A nice young man entered an art contest for which he had very little time to prepare. His mother brought him to me and we worked first in a clay sculpture and then with acrylic. He brought a nice picture of an old rock structure in a field with hills in the distance. Since he had very little experience with painting I showed him how to water down the paint and out on washes of background shapes. This is a very shape driven painting. My eyes first land on the triangle if green field and then to the house. He left to finish his painting. I couldn’t leave mine undone so had to finish it up. May you win that contest Joel. You are an artist!

Since I’m thinking of all my art right now as backgrounds for my owls.., talked a few into posing in front. Of course they had no choice.

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