Writing my book on day 63 of 172 of giving up sweets
New Years is bringing about my desire to:
FINISH MY CAREGIVING BOOK
I’ve got to get my caregiving book finished. I have been working on it off and on for the past couple of years. How many times I’ve rewritten its chapters. And, now that my husband has needed to go to assisted living, I am needing to give myself some writing and editing deadlines.
So, currently I am adding, subtracting, and editing my caregiving book. I’m finally able to see what it actually is. This writing process has been throwing a bunch of clay on a table and molding it and then carving it out, totally demolishing some parts and then building it back up.
While editing, I notice I tend to say “just” a lot. Just just just. Like this:
“I just wanted a break.” So I was thinking about that. What do I mean by “just”? Maybe what I really mean is “only”. I only wanted a break. But, do I say “just” because it has a little whiny capability to it? a little more oomph to it?
Maybe I also say “little” a lot. So I could say:
“I just wanted a little break.”
But the TRUTH is: I wanted a break. No just or little. I wanted a very long break.
I wanted it to be over.
As many of you know who are slogging through caregiving days, if you ever do get some respite, it is very difficult to relax if you “just” get a few hours.
Sometimes writing can get me to truth. Telling the truth in my writing means I have to revisit old information and ways of thinking and ask hard questions. Am I saying what I think people want to hear? Am I revealing nothing but saying something? That’s what makes writing soooooo difficult but also so cleansing.
And, then there’s my overused “so”.